I feel my heart start beating to my favorite song ♫

I have something to say. I love. And it’s something I have to keep close to my heart and remember every time I forget that I love. I can love. I will love. I am love.

I sat in class today, and I childishly thought, I’m fat. My second thought? Don’t be stupid.

I sat in bed last night and stroked my arm, and suddenly, for no reason,wanted to cut. My second thought? Well, you would do it; then it would sting; and bleed; and everyone would be upset and disappointed; and I would be upset and disappointed; and it wouldn’t change a goddamn thing; you wouldn’t feel a goddamn bit better. My third thought? Don’t be stupid.

I compared myself to someone impossibly thin, with their own flaws and perfections and their own life, and I compared and felt insecure, and wanted to change my body. My first thought? Ha, don’t be stupid. I’m fine the way I am.

My wise self has finally decided to shut my negative ED-stemmed thoughts up. Whenever I feel sad thoughts, negative thoughts, or self-harming thoughts beginning to rise, I take them to my wise self and ask, are these valid fears? And my wise self doesn’t even have to glance at them. She says, of course not. And I believe her. She is me.

I’ve had too many waterfalls, but I’ve also had my fair share of symphonies. My pulse beats and starts cathedrals in my heart…

My heart is huge. It fills me up. I feel insecure, and I say, love thyself. Do not waste the preciousness you have been given. Do not fear: forgive. Do not hate: love. Do not dwell: live now.

And now, a poem by Mother Theresa. 

People are often unreasonable, illogical and self centered;
Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true
enemies;
Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you’ve got anyway.
You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and your God;
It was never between you and them anyway.